Our trip is closing in on 9 days and the hubs and I are getting excited. I am not sure if I am more excited for the vacation or the possible outcome. I regulary ask the hubs if he is sure that he wants to do this. Not because I don't want to, but because I really don't think he has any idea what he's in for. Right now we have a walking, talking, wipe his own ass, use the toaster and microwave type of kid. We have a built in babysitter for half of the week. I truly believe that I will be punished with my next child because the one I got in the first go around is in no way your typical kid. If I am blessed with another amazing child it is only because I did something really nice in a past life.
Oh the things I think but do not say...
Confession #1
I am terrified the hubs is going to drive me crazy if this actually work. I suggested to the hubs the other day that we choose a "safe word"-a word that says "if you ask me if I'm okay again I will rip your head off and throw it in th Ninja blender". The hubs was not keen on the idea. Actually, I think he may have been slightly irritated with me. To some this may seem like a stupid complaint, but if I don't feel good I just want to be left alone. If I want something then I will whimper, whine and complain at that time. The hubs suggested he answer with a "get it yourself woman" or something to that effect....I was not keen on that.
The hubs has a tendency to make sure I don't need anything or that I still feel sick every 5 minutes-how sweet I know, but let me be honest...I am a bitchy sick person. Sorry hubs-spooning is off the table.
The prospect of a high-risk pregnancy has me preparing for end times. I need a padded room, ear plugs, the Ninja Blender, and an arsenal of darts. One day I may learn to just let the hubs take care of me.
I am annoyed by "parenting methods". When did parenting become so difficult? Attachment parenting, baby wise parenting, and free-range parenting (because our kids are chickens now) are just a few of the methods that have been established to make me feel unqualified for motherhood. Kudos to the moms or moms-to-be who have the time to research all these methods and decide which one is best for your child in the womb.
I winged it with B-ray. I figured he needed food, a clean ass, and love. Let me just say that B is a child not lacking in the love department. I let him "cry it out" on occasion holy crap that is a parenting method now too apparently. Oh and he fell off the bed a couple times. I felt bad for a moment but we moved on with life. B has had stitches, a glued eye, endless supplies of bruises and road rash. To teach him to swim, I let him sink. Don't get your panties in a twist...I was in the pool with him. I dropped B off at daycare and didn't worry about him all day. I didn't linger and stare through the window and come to think of it B never had a meltdown going to school. He never clinged to my pants, screamed, and cried. I guess the love was one-sided. I just don't get it. No offense to the parenting styles; I just prefer the no rules method.
The Waiting Game...
This part of our adventure is by far the hardest. We don't know what to expect, we aren't sure how excited we should be, and the days are passing slowly. I am a workaholic and can't stand the thought of leaving stuff unfinished so I am putting in long days. Every day I am confident the hubs wants to scream and yell at me for living at work. I am actually surprised he has not put a sleeping bag in my car yet. I am feeling sad at the thought of leaving B for so long. I am worried that all we are going to end up with is a nice long vacation and a whole bunch of Pinterest posts that I will never be able to use. The what-ifs are daunting to say the least.
I winged it with B-ray. I figured he needed food, a clean ass, and love. Let me just say that B is a child not lacking in the love department. I let him "cry it out" on occasion holy crap that is a parenting method now too apparently. Oh and he fell off the bed a couple times. I felt bad for a moment but we moved on with life. B has had stitches, a glued eye, endless supplies of bruises and road rash. To teach him to swim, I let him sink. Don't get your panties in a twist...I was in the pool with him. I dropped B off at daycare and didn't worry about him all day. I didn't linger and stare through the window and come to think of it B never had a meltdown going to school. He never clinged to my pants, screamed, and cried. I guess the love was one-sided. I just don't get it. No offense to the parenting styles; I just prefer the no rules method. The Waiting Game...
This part of our adventure is by far the hardest. We don't know what to expect, we aren't sure how excited we should be, and the days are passing slowly. I am a workaholic and can't stand the thought of leaving stuff unfinished so I am putting in long days. Every day I am confident the hubs wants to scream and yell at me for living at work. I am actually surprised he has not put a sleeping bag in my car yet. I am feeling sad at the thought of leaving B for so long. I am worried that all we are going to end up with is a nice long vacation and a whole bunch of Pinterest posts that I will never be able to use. The what-ifs are daunting to say the least.
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