TMI But I Have to Tinkle

I am not quite sure where I left off on my last post, and honestly I am too lazy to go and check (I am going to blame it on the hormones-from now on everything is because of the hormones).

By October 24th, the day of our egg retrieval, I felt a little like my ovaries may potentially explode and tinkling became extremely unpleasant. We were up to 2 shots a day and you can only imagine how excited I was about that. As excited as the hubs is when I tell him he has to make room in man cave for the triplets. We arrived for our retrieval/sperm aspiration at 9:30 and were taken in to a nice little room with a recliner where the hubs was told to change. The hubs was a nervous wreck. I am not good with pep talks-I'm a tough love kind of gal, but I did my best to distract the hubs by taking a bunch of horribly depressing pictures.The hubs was given his iv and wheeled out for his procedure. I patiently read my book in the recliner. Before I knew it the hubs was being wheeled back in saying....you guessed it..."I feel drunk right now". He has oddly forgotten that this occurred, but I have happily reminded him. The doctor informed me that they were indeed able to find usable semi-swimmers in the epididymis and did not have to dig into the testicles. I was then asked to change and brought in to my own room. This part was one of the few parts that I was very unimpressed with. The girl that was to give me the iv went back and forth from arm to arm trying to find a usable vein. She tried once (very painfully) without success and left the room returning to tell me that the anesthesiologist would put in the iv. Once I got into the creepy sterile white room with lots of lights the doctor tried 2 more times and was successful on the second attempt. He told me I'd feel dizzy and then I was out.

The doctor ended up retrieving 10 follicles with 9 mature eggs and five fertilized. Not great numbers but not bad. Now to wait. Our transfer was scheduled for Sunday morning (also the day we flew back home).

Friday and Saturday were pretty uneventful days for us. The hubs was definitely not as sore as he was with his first biopsy, but still the coconuts were mighty tender. Oh wait, I lied. Friday was eventful. Friday was the first day for our shot in the bum. The shot was a progesterone shot which is mixed in oil.  Let me remind you all that oil is thick and thick requires a wide/long needle. My two fatal errors on Friday: looking at the needle and YouTubing how to give the shot. Both extremely stupid decisions. I refused to let the hubs give me the shot. I was certain it was not necessary and that we would be ok without it. I burst into tears and snot rolled down my face. I was in full on tantrum mode. The hubs was speechless. I honestly think he had no idea what to do. Should he pin me down? Not give it to me? Once I was done hyperventilating, I made the hubs call his mom on Skype. I took three shots of tequila and talked to the MIL while the hubs stabbed me in the butt cheek with a ginormous needle. It is almost a week later and my bum is still sore.

On Sunday it was officially the day. After this day I would be pregnant until proven otherwise (PUPO is the fertility lingo). The doctor advised me to arrive with a full bladder. Note to self-full bladder does not mean drinking 32 oz of water. We arrived at 8:30 am and by 9:00 I was begging the hubs to ask the nurse if I can pee "just a little". The nurse told me I could pee, but only "a little bit". Who were we kidding-who tinkles only a little? Now folks this is where there is some (a lot) of TMI. I went into the bathroom ready to tinkle and who would have thunk it but of course I have to go number 2. I dare you to try not tinkling and pooping at the same time. And moving on. I came out and my sweet dear hubs thinks I need more water, so because I am such an obedient wife I complied, all the while my bladder had already filled back up from the prior 32 oz of water.

They came to wheel me in for my transfer and I was in panic mode. I nearly had a meltdown. I have never had to pee so bad in my life and now they were going to stick an alligator clip up my peach. I am guessing the tossing, turning, hand over my eyes, near tears and looking for places to escape cued my doctor in to my discomfort because he offered me a catheter to relieve some discomfort. I have never been so relieved to have a tube up my tinkle hole in my entire life!  Once all was better and I was not worried I'd pee on my doctors hand I enjoyed the miracle of what they were about to do.

The doctor transferred 3 embryos. Trust me I thought it was a lot too, but one was sort of the runt of the litter and would have been discarded. The hubs watched the transfer on the monitor in another room. The process was easy and painless (minus the minor glitch). They wheeled me back into the room where my hubs was waiting and we had a brief holy crap moment then we were headed back to our hotel then off to the airport!

Mexican Godzilla and Huveos

Well if you haven't guessed we are still in Mexico. 

We have been here a total of 11 days so far and overall it's been a great time, but it's safe to say that I officially feel like crap. I think my ovaries may explode which unfortunately in this situation is probably a good thing.

I took 10 days of stimulation medicine which was a little rough, but minus some minor anxiety attacks and some bleeding and burning pain, we are almost done. I apparently am a somewhat slow responder which stinks because an extra $700 in medication is no bueno, but on the bright side in the states it would have easily been twice as much. We were slightly irritated to discover that our FSA accounts did work down here and the office manager charged the wrong amount so the hub's card didn't work. Now we have to wait to be reimbursed-again no bueno. Tomorrow we have one more shot to keep me from releasing one of my developing eggs then at 10:30 pm we do the "trigger shot". I can't say I completely understand this shot, but timing is crucial. Then Thursday morning is the moment of truth. We will finally see how many eggs my slow responding body produced.

Suffering in paradise...

The hubs is super excited to have a needle jammed into his testicles for the retrieval of his little swimmers. The hubs can't seem to understand why I have zero sympathy for him. Everyday for the last 10 days, sometimes twice a day, I have a shot in my stomach. Then if that wasn't fun enough, I get to have an internal ultrasound (that means they stick a wand up my peach) every other day. Yeah sympathy just isn't going to happen. The doctor told the hubs they would try to take the swimmers from the epididymis instead of the testicles which would be far less invasive for my wussy man. Needless to say, we are hoping that they can do this because not only will I have to listen to less whining, but the swimmers are more like a five year old with arm floaties instead of a newborn sinking to the bottom of the pool.

Entertainment in paradise...

We moved to an all-inclusive hotel for the last nine days of our trip which has been relatively stress free. They have 24 hour room service and unlimited champagne and bloody Mary's. I discovered that not only does snorkling make me sick when I'm hungover, but it also makes me want to vomit when I'm not. The hubs was thoroughly disappointed. Since snorkling was a no go for me, the hubs bought a snorkel and goggles and went out on his own adventure while I downed some bloody Mary's and read my second book on the beach.

Because there are only so many rocks I can stand to stare at for a period of time, the hubs and I decided not to go on one of the all day trips to the ruins. Instead, we went to El Rey which was a smaller site with an extremely large amount of Mexican Godzilla (iguanas). I don't like iguanas and I have no desire to feed them ever again. I stepped out of my comfort zone and threw some banana pieces to the iguanas who started biting each other like assholes. Then I threw a few more pieces and apparently that was not sufficient for one of them because it started running in my direction (with no fear I might add). I wasted no time and ran in the opposite direction screaming, and that jackwad kept coming. I threw the entire banana down and the beast took the banana and ran away. For the rest of the day I went nowhere near the Mexican Godzilla.

Now we have three more days before our retrieval and I am hoping that I can pull off the pregnant look because right now I can pass for a pregnant woman with the bloated belly and waddle-or maybe I will just hide out in my hotel room. Either way keeps us in your thoughts as we hope for the best!

The Journey Begins

On Wednesday night I spent the last little bit of time I had with B until his dad came and picked him up. Then I cried myself to sleep on the couch and slept with my puppies. The hubs slept up stairs with the cats...I am sure you can tell whose pets are whose.

Thursday morning I was up not so bright eyed and not so bushy tailed at 4 am. I cried some more. Geez it was hard leaving B-ray and the pups behind. My body was pretty much right on schedule. That just means that I get to start my vacation on my period-bummer. Our flight was uneventful-although my wussy hubby would say it was a "rough ride". One day he's got to man up with this whole flying thing-he's totally losing the man card he has left. We got to Mexico at 2:50 and had to high tail it through the airport to get to the doctors office by 4 pm. This was not my ideal scenario, but a minor glitch in scheduling and we were forced into a time crunch. We made it through immigration quickly and on to customs. (Red light....Green light) I prayed for green because going through five bags was going to be torturous. Green it was-phew! We got to the doctors where we were greeted by two extremely warm and inviting office staff. The office was modern and clean. The doctor performed an ultrasound and I was given the green light to start my meds the following day.  I was relieved to find out we only had to take one shot a day.

Our transportation arrived and we were finally on the way to our hotel!!

Impatiently waiting...

We arrived at the Marriott after a somewhat white knuckled taxi ride. BofA had put a flag on our card even after we called and told them we'd be in Mexico. After an agonizing phone call with the idiot they call a customer service rep, we got our keys and rushed eagerly to our room. By this point the hubs and I were wound up so tight from stress, anxiety and excitement that all we could manage was to eat dinner and pass out.

Day 2

The hubs and I both slept surprisingly well then spent most of our second day getting scorched by the ocean then by the pool.  I read my book and enjoyed a drink while the hubs read his "book" (I'd call it a children's picture book) and got giddy over his iguana colada. We had an amazing late lunch/early dinner at an oceanfront seafood restaurant. Then back to our hotel room to confront my worst nightmare. 

My worst nightmare...

I told the hubs about this magical trick a nurse had once done. When I was hyper ventilating she thumped me kind of hard in one place and stuck the needle in another...it was amazing. I was more focused on the thump then the needle. After two glasses of wine and a shot of tequila I was still no where near ready for this, but the hubs pulled it off! It was over...yeah well for the night anyways.

Day 3

On day three we enjoyed the hotel fitness center, the breakfast buffet (good thing we got this included in our stay because $50 a day for breakfast would have been a little much), then we grabbed a cab to one of the local shopping centers. We took a shot of tequila as we were shopping in one of the markets. The hubs takes a shot like a wuss. We ate lunch with dolphins swimming below us, iguanas walking past us and a band singing in front of us. The hubs had some disgusting looking shrimp, octopus, squid mixture which he inhaled. I took a safer route with some amazing shrimp. Then off for round two of me against the needle. Again, not as bad as I imagine in my head, but it definitely burns a little more when I only have one shot of tequila. 

The hubs had been watching the turtle sanctuary area all day.  Kudos to the hubs because we were able to send a brand new baby turtle to its new home in the ocean...which even I can admit is pretty cool. And those baby turtles are ADORABLE.  I named mine Little Guy. He was way faster than the hub's turtle. 

Day 4

We are becoming pros in Cancun. We got smart after talking to the concierge and made our way by city bus to the ferry for Isla Mujeres. It was an amazing day. We rented a golf cart and rode around the city. The hubs can finally leave me alone about the turtles. He has now seen more turtles than most people have seen in a lifetime. 

Day 5

It is the 5th day and this will be the the first time we head back to the doctor's office. Our patient facilitator will be picking us up at 9:30 to take us to the doctor for some bloodwork then I plan on another day of relaxation in paradise.

Prepping the Mind, Women Bits, and Soul

I am writing this post at 1:30 am in hopes that I will bore myself to sleep, but all I can think is holy crap-in 2 days we are taking a four hour flight that could lead to a huge change in our lives.

Prepping for the end of the world...

My suitcase has been essentially packed for a week now-which considering what a basket case I am going to be on Wednesday night this is probably a really good thing. I might as well stock up on guns and ammo cause I have enough stuff for the end of the world. I'm really thankful that we are going somewhere warm because swimsuits take up a lot less room than a parka.

I've had little to no sleep since Friday. For those of you who don't know that is now 4 nights ago.  Most people would probably assume I have a case of anxiety, although I continue to argue that point, because for whatever reason I cannot admit to that. Instead, I lay here staring at the humidifier I have set up next to my bed and blame this wretched cold I have been blessed with as an added vacation bonus. As if making a baby won't be hard enough-I get to fight against cracked nostrils, cold sores and sinus pressure that knocks me on my ass. Yippee!

So needless to say my mind is rebelling, my body is rebelling, but at least my soul is pretty well in tact.

A little food for the soul...

We had a "fairwell" dinner at my parent's house on Saturday night for our "get knocked up vacation". One thing I know for sure is my parents are pretty amazing. Each of them in their own unique way has been encouraging and supportive. My mom (who would fully admit she is not the most sentimental) surprised me when she pulled me aside and gave me a beautiful card and an even more beautiful necklace. I've come to think if it as my new good luck charm. She knows I'm anxious/nervous and won't admit it...curse the "mom intuition". My dad/Grandpa Baldy, well let's just say he coined the phrase "knocked up vacation". A little humor goes a long way.

My souls on a roll...the sappy, heartfelt, and emotional (with a touch of snarky) shout out-

I wanted to take an opportunity to again thank all those who have been supportive through this whole roller coaster. To the boss who has been more than generous in giving me this time off and not accepting that "it's not going to work as a response", to my coworkers who listen to my emotional mood swings and relentless talking about this, to the cousin who has agreed to stay at our animal farm, to the friends who are so excited for us and eagerly watch our journey, to the friends who were so generous in offering to board our dogs just because they are amazingly good people, to the family members who worry about us and care about us, to the neighbors who are just plain awesome and know what we are going through, to my sister for being so believable in pretending she cares (totally joking Bean), and to B (even though you don't really have a clue what's going on) for reminding me every day how amazing you are and why I am doing this. THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart. Lastly, to the hubs, I love you...and would you finish packing already! (No seriously-throwing a pile of clothes in a bag and waiting for me to sort through and fold them is not packing)

Next up...."Adventures in In Vito Fertilization"